Coming from a former teacher’s POV, alot of teachers have limited resources to work with and many of them are burned out, BUT, we have many ways of cajoling unmotivated and rowdy children, and diffusing situations diplomaticly. I get really sick and tired of people saying that it is the public schools’ fault for making these kids unruly and undisciplined. I know of many HS children; ALL of which are active in church, sports, 4-H, among other things, and they still have to deal with all kinds of kids.
As a parent, I can empathize with wanting to protect your children, but they also need to learn how to deal with unpleasant people since one of them might turn out to be your child’s boss or co-worker one day.
I agree with Janet. Parents’ involvement in the schools makes all the difference. The school my dd attends practically begs for volunteers! We are very fortunate to find it although I did my homework to find the best one for my dd’s needs. She is in a multi-age classroom (3rd, 4th, and 5th grades), her class learns thematic units and has a year-round schedule.
Her first day was yesterday! So she will have a couple weeks off in October unless we decide to put her in intersession classes.
I hope I am not stepping on too many toes and will fade back into lurker mode now!
This topic thread hits home with my family right now as we are still trying to decide on school options. We currently have our kids enrolled at both our local (across the street) school and a charter school. We are really trying to make our minds up concerning which would be the better choice in educating our children. At the beginning of summer I was really leaning towards a charter school mainly because of the behaviour concerns within the classroom.
They do have the option to kick kids out of the school ~ right?
We are also weighing up opppotunities and curriculum. We went to the ice cream social for the charter school and talked to teachers but they didn’t seem to know much about the classes they were teaching as most were newer teachers ~ not all bad because they have enthusiasm that SOME of the older teachers lack.
And then there is the realization that perhaps it matters more what we teach at home and the standards we set that will carry the kids through whatever school we send them. I babysit two children who go to the charter school and I wasn’t too pleased with their language (just as I wasn’t pleased with some of the language at the public school!) and I also talked with the daughter of a friend (whom I hadn’t seen for a few years) who attended public school and she really had her head screwed on right.
Does anyone have any solutions? If so email me! I really want to know!
Shari <~~~~ who needs a crystal ball to see what kind of school would really suit our needs
Sad to say- but it’s not the kids, it’s the parents. The problems with our children today did not start in the public school system but rather in the home.
I couldn’t agree more HOWEVER, our home isn’t that way and that is where my kids would most often deal with this stuff.
I respect your reason for wanting to HS your kids, but sooner or later they will have to interact with their peers.
I am not homeschooling currently (my children are two and four) but I am sure a lot of homeschooling parents would agree that school is not the only place for socizlization and interaction with peers. This is one of my concerns simply because although as it was mentioned that there are thousands of homeschooling families in Missouri I have found only one other family in our county….definitely no others in our small town. There are also not a lot of other activities that are not centered around the school.
If the kids that are misbehaving are at church then where are you going to take your kids for them to form friendships? Are you going to quit going to church?
Now I don’t think that is fair. I am not trying to start a debate about homeschooling and I certainly have no intention of removing human contact from my children’s lives. That is why I asked people to email me and marked it OT so that people could skip it if they wished and email me privately if they wished. I simply wanted resources for homeschooling without local support.
As I said this is Vacation Bible School. None of these problem children are from our church but these ARE kids they will go to school with in the public schools (we have no private schools in the county either). If they carry on half as bad (and I know that they do because it is a small town) in school as they do at our church I don’t want my kids to be their victims. Many parents use VBS as a babysitter (not so they can learn and from talking to the parents of our worst ones they dont’ even expect them to behave) and send their kids to all of them in town and they are bored stiff because they just went to the other baptist church last week and did the same activities.
Tonight went much better….the large group (all cousins) that basically harassed everyone did not return after some forced discussions with parents. The other kids learned, they had a ball and it was wonderful.
Basically what I am saying is that there really isn’t a lot we can do about bad behavior. As a church we are private and can ask them to leave but the schools really can’t do it that easily. Teachers have a very difficult job and there is no way for them to have the power to protect the majority…the ones who aren’t disruptive. I will agree that the problem is definitely at home but I can’t do a single thing about their homes and I can’t give the schools and teachers more power to do something about it. I can however choose not to let my kids be part of it and risk being physically and emotionally abused.
Today, I supervised registration for a large public high school. The only negative people we had were NOT the students BUT the parents!!
One man threw his papers up in the air and cussed us out (his boys apologized for their dad), one man insisted he be given preferential treatment because he had a business trip the next day, well you get the general idea… Sad to say- but it’s not the kids, it’s the parents. And, it’s not all parents just a few. The problems with our children today did not start in the public school system but rather in the home.
I respect your reason for wanting to HS your kids, but sooner or later they will have to interact with their peers. If the kids that are misbehaving are at church then where are you going to take your kids for them to form friendships? Are you going to quit going to church? There are not easy answers. I find the majority of young teens today to be creative, insightful, and respectful. They live in a society we as parents and adults have created. Good luck in your endeavors.
Hi, I’ve been on this list for just a week or so, sort of lurking, enjoying all your posts, but mainly I’ve just been trying to get a feel for this group. So, please allow me to introduce myself, My name is Melissa. I am a Frugal- pagan- homeschooling- Massage Therapist- Herbal/ Naturopathic Nutritional Consultant- Mom of 2 great boys.
*Whew* Think I got everything out there. Still with me? Great. As far as your predicament with homeschooling… first.. let me tell you, there are Thousands of Homeschooling families in MO. Yes, THOUSANDS. *smile* Thats the good news. The even better news is, You have just decided to join the ranks of some of the most talented creative people you’ve ever known. There are several ways to HS, for instance, we Unschool. That is, my children do not follow a set curriculum. We use Theme Units, (such as an Ocean Study unit), etc. These are great fun for the kids, and make it incredibly easy on you when your starting out.
Here are some website, I noticed that you mentioned Church, I’m not sure which religion you followed and whether or not you would prefer to keep education/religion separate.. so I offer these in Peace! As I said, I am pagan, so I have not used these particular sites, but they seem to be loaded with really great info: The Catholic Homeschool Network of America
If I knew which area you were from I could better direct you to a group near you: here are some examples… SLHSN – St. Louis Homeschool Network A support group for homeschooling families and an information source for prospective homeschoolers. Diverse, with many religious, political and educational philosophies; focused exclusively on homeschooling issues. Offers bi-monthly meetings for members (visitors welcome); a monthly newsletter; a Learning Coop; a resource “trunk” library; and field events and special activities arranged by members. A packet of information is available with resources, description of homeschooling approaches, answers to frequently asked questions and the laws in Missouri and Illinois as they pertain to homeschoolers. Membership is $12 per year; Information Packet is $3.
Bolivar Area Homeschoolers
Support, activities, classes, and a newsletter, for homeschoolers in Southwest Missouri – https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-in-missouri/homeschool-organizations-support-groups/
Here is probably the most helpful link I can think of.
FHE is the Lobbying Group for all home educators in the state of Missouri. We are not affiliated with any religious, political organization or special interest group. We work to win support for home education among the general public and before lawmakers and public officials. FHE provides legally accurate information to anyone interested in home education.
So.. these are just a few I could think of, since I am in Maine.. I’m not so good at locating resources in your State. I would be more than happy to direct you toward some additional sources if you would like.
(BTW, Homeschooling can be done frugally! If your worried about additional expenses think of all the money you will save on school supplies (the perfect notebooks that Everyones kids have), Brand name clothing kids fight for, etc!
My husband and I were heavily involved in the programs for children at our church for 5 years, our kids loved it. But we quit this year. 🙁 We just couldn’t handle the rude way the kids acted. We didn’t feel like volunteering our hearts and time to be verbally abused by the kids! Over the years they had become “our” kids too, but since they were able to get away with more and more, and the directors couldn’t/wouldn’t disipline in any way…we gave up.
I’m going to miss it, but it’s a relief to know we won’t be putting up with the attitudes anymore.
This would be the #1 reason I would homeschool. How are my kids supposed to learn with kids like that to hang around. I REALLY do not want to homeschool. I don’t have the energy but I may have too. We are thinking of sending them to Catholic school instead, even though we aren’t Catholic.
I am the director at our small church’s VBS this week and it has been horrible. I am apalled at the way kids behave!!!!! I do NOT envy teachers at all. When we try to talk to parents they always take up for their kids.
This has made me realize that I do not want my kids to go to school with these mean kids. They are allowed to beat up on each other and have been torturing less fortunate kids. I am doing the best I can but there is only one me (okay, a big fat me but STILL). Anyway…I would like to talk to some people who homeschool that live in an area where people DON’T homeschool….in other words can it really work with no support, no groups etc.
It is so sad that you are having these problems at your church of all places.
It is amazing to be how rude children and not-children are becoming. In my apartment complex in Seattle, some of the children were calling a neighbours the ‘N’ word.
Course it is unbelievable the way a lot of these children’s parents act, especially at the games and in stores. Sometimes I wonder why some of them had children, they don’t seem to care what they do or how they act.
And of course, most children know that they can get away with anything by threatening to call the police.
Hi everyone, I would just like to chime in here and give my 2 cents worth.
If you are willing to be a very involved parent, and to work hard with your kids , your kids can do ok in a public school. I always thought I would homeschool, but it was very clear to me that God was not going to permit me to do so. Health reasons, non- supportive dh, etc. My kids have been exposed to HORRIBLE behavior and language as my dh and I have done ministry work in some housing projects in our county.
We have taken in drug addicted teens and they have seen outlandish behavior and dress. Our church regularly brings in kids from bad neighborhoods and inner city DC. They have to be banished to another part of the church because of people who are afraid of the bad influence on their kids. I find that very upsetting. My kids are little warriors for Christ. We train them that the behavior of these people is wrong. We train them by example. They know now what to look for as far as wrong influences. I have found out about bad videos in school because they come home and tell me about them and how wrong they were.
They tell me about the bad behavior of kids and teachers and we pray for these people. Our family is one of the only Christian families in the school. We try to be kind and loving to these kids and parents who may never get the light of God anywhere else. When the school had McDOnalds night, we prayed before the meal just as the principal walked up, he was speechless. We try to be loving and supportive to him, but when there is a problem, we address it.
Now I am not judging anyone. Like I said, this all takes a lot of work. I am constantly debriefing my kids. But, I believe that God puts some of us in the public schools for a reason. Sometimes I wish He would release us.!lol I know that not everyone can do this kind of ministry. I believe that God calls some to homeschool, some to private, etc, for many of the same reasons. I guess I just didn’t want people who have to send their kids to public school to feel hopeless. Pray, stay on top of it. Be with your kids. Talk to them. And, our decision is never final. We make it every year based on the kid and where we are lead. As parents, we have the final responsibility for our kids.
The majority of our kids spiritual training goes on at home, so that in VBS, the kids see that job as to be a missionary. That is what our church uses it for. Some kids get SO little attention at home. We try to minister to the parents, but many could care less. The kids have a chance if we help them. My kids know what behavior is acceptable. I am always checking up on them. The majority of the time there friends are in our home. Don’t be discouraged if you must send your kids to the public school. Some of us are still there and our kids behave! 🙂
DH and i are debating what to do in 2 years when our son is out of his catholic elementary school – High school cost more for one child than it does for 3 to go to the elementary school – i went to and survived public school just fine – DH went to public HS after catholic elementary and i think he suddenly had all this freedom and went a bit wild- but he was easily influenced – trying to be cool and i was very shy had my 5 close friends
and was scared to death of doing something wrong LOL!! but its not the same as it was 18 years ago – but i figure by the time he is 15 he will hopefully know what we expect of him – have his morals set and be able to avoid situations he knows are wrong – at least more so than a first grader would be able to do
i think his personality is more like mine than dh, so i think he would be fine in our public school ( which is a good school district in general ) but dh is worried becasue of how he acted ..
anyway i think you really have to look at each child differently – i think my 12 yo would do fine in the public schools my 9 yo going on 35 yo dd makes me a bit worried – only time will tell i guess –